Google

Eight Lies of a Mother.


1.
The story began when I was a child;
I was born as a son of a poor family.
Even for eating, we often got lack of food.
Whenever the time for eating, mother often gave me her portion of rice.
While she was removing her rice into my bowl,
she would say "Eat this rice, son. I'm not hungry".
That was Mother's First Lie

2.

When I was getting to grow up,
the persevering mother gave her spare time for fishing in a river near our house,
she hoped that from the fishes she got,
she could gave me a little bit nutritious food for my growth.
After fishing, she would cook the fishes to be a fresh fish soup,
which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup,
mother would sit beside me and eat the rest meat of fish,
which was still on the bone of the fish I ate.
My heart was touched when I saw it.
I then used my chopstick and gave the other fish to her.
But she immediately refused it and said "Eat this fish, son.
I don't really like fish."
That was Mother's Second Lie.

3.

Then, when I was in Junior High School,
to fund my study,
mother went to an economic enterprise to bring some used-matches boxes that would be stuck in.
It gave her some money for covering our needs.
As the winter came,
I woke up from my sleep and looked at my mother who was still awoke,
supported by a little candlelight and within her perseverance she continued
the work of sticking some used-matches box.
I said, "Mother, go to sleep, it's late,
tomorrow morning you still have to go for work.
" Mother smiled and said "Go to sleep,
dear. I'm not tired."
That was Mother's Third Lie.

4.

At the time of final term,
mother asked for a leave from her work in order to accompany me.
While the daytime was coming and the heat of the sun was starting to shine,
the strong and persevering mother
waited for me under the heat of the sun's shine for several hours.
As the bell rang, which indicated that the final exam had finished,
mother immediately welcomed me and poured me a glass of tea
that she had prepared before in a cold bottle.
The very thick tea was not as thick as my mother's love,
which was much thicker. Seeing my mother covering with perspiration,
I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too.
Mother said "Drink, son. I'm not thirsty!".
That was Mother's Fourth Lie.

5.
After the death of my father because of illness,
my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent.
By held on her former job, she had to fund our needs alone.
Our family's life was more complicated. No days without sufferance.
Seeing our family's condition that was getting worse,
there was a nice uncle who lived near my house came to help us,
either in a big problem and a small problem.
Our other neighbors who lived next to us saw that our family's life was so unfortunate,
they often advised my mother to marry again. But mother,
who was stubborn, didn't care to their advice,
she said "I don't need love."
That was Mother's Fifth Lie.

6.

After I had finished my study and then got a job,
it was the time for my old mother to retire.
But she didn't want to; she was sincere to go to the marketplace every morning,
just to sell some vegetable for fulfilling her needs.
I, who worked in the other city, often sent her some money to help her in fulfilling her needs,
but she was stubborn for not accepting the money.
She even sent the money back to me.
She said "I have enough money."
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

7.

After graduated from Bachelor Degree,
I then continued my study to Master Degree.
I took the degree, which was funded by a company through a scholarship program,
from a famous University in America .
I finally worked in the company. Within a quite high salary,
I intended to take my mother to enjoy her life in America .
But my lovely mother didn't want to bother her son,
she said to me "I'm not used to."
That was Mother's Seventh Lie.

8.
After entering her old age,
mother got a flank cancer and had to be hospitalized.
I, who lived in miles away and across the ocean,
directly went home to visit my dearest mother.
She lied down in weakness on her bed after having an operation.
Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep yearn.
She tried to spread her smile on her face;
even it looked so stiff because of the disease she held out.
It was clear enough to see how the disease broke my mother's body,
thus she looked so weak and thin.
I stared at my mother within tears flowing on my face.
My heart was hurt, so hurt, seeing my mother on that condition.
But mother, with her strength, said "Don't cry, my dear.
I'm not in pain."
That was Mother's Eight Lie.

Fly The Nest

Children grow up to become young people. And sooner or later, young people leave home. They may move out to live alone or with friends. They may leave to go to college or to work. Whatever the reason and whatever their age, it can leave you with mixed emotions. You may be relieved at having some time and space, finally, to yourself. Or you may feel at a loose end, as if your whole reason for living had walked out of the door.

You may feel guilty at being happy they're gone - or guilty at feeling bad about it. But it is very necessary that you let your children spread their wings and explore the world around. Here are simple steps both parents and their kids need to take to make their lives more productive, fulfilling and healthy.

For Parents

Big changes are most difficult when they take us by surprise. If your children are unprepared, they may make a bit of hash of it. Get them ready by helping them to manage for themselves. It's never too early to do this - or too late.

Drawing boundaries

Parents need to put down boundaries and stick to them. Children often assume the victim role and say, "I can't do it. I have to live here." Parents buy into this thinking, and then feel guilty because they want to help their kids. When they feed that guilt, they ignore the fact that they are crippling their children's advancement in life.

Five-year plan

Parents should not try to make a life plan for their adult children; this is something they need to devise on their own so they will follow it. Parents can guide and support their kids, but treating them like babies may cause them to regress. They need to be moving ahead and maturing, not regressing into childhood roles. Adult kids should be living as independent young people and making their own way. They need to decide for themselves what they want out of life, and devise a plan to obtain it.

Help them out

There is an old saying: "Those for whom you do the most, wind up resenting you the worst." Are you really helping your kids if you're not showing them how the real world works? Parents need to redefine what it means to help someone. Look at your motivation for helping your children. If you are doing it to feel better about yourself, then you probably don't have your child's best interest in mind.

Be prepared

When we talk about loving our children, loving them means preparing them. In the world, your children will have to pull their own weight and make their own way. If you allow them not to require more from themselves, then they won't, and they won't progress. It is important for your children to learn self-sufficiency, develop high self-esteem and be motivated from early on in life. If you are constantly helping them and taking care of their needs, you are not preparing them for the real world, and in fact, you are actually crippling them. It's not fair to enable them for a long, long time and then all of a sudden just put them on the street. You own the problem as well. There's got to be a plan. There's got to be a transition.

For Adult Children

Take responsibility for yourself

Oftentimes it is easier to sit back and let others provide for you, while you get accustomed to a comfort zone. By taking the path of least resistance, you reward yourself with comfort and relief from anxiety that comes from reaching for something else. You may feel safe when you don't attempt to change, but you are sabotaging yourself. You are selling out your happiness and putting up with something you don't want. Require more of yourself.

Have a plan to get on your own

Find a job, something that gives you the pride and independence to be able to say, "I am taking care of myself." Start living where you can get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, "I'm a grown person; I'm living on my own and I'm proud of that." Start at an entry-level position if you have to, and then build from there. You need to get whatever job you can, and then build for another job.

 Preparation time

Here is how you can prepare your children for that daily struggle

Discuss with them how you would like to help them, and what they need to do to manage. You may, for instance, agree that their room is now off limits to you, with a few provisons. You'll allow them to keep it as they want, if they agree to put dirty clothes in the basket and bring dirty cups back to the kitchen. If they don't, it's down to them, not you, when they've nothing clean to wear and you can't give them breakfast

You might also ask that common territory - living room, kitchen and bathroom - be kept tidy

Take them household shopping so they can see how much everyday essentials such as toothpaste and washing up liquid costs - and how often it needs to be bought

Discuss with them how you'll hand over the responsibility of managing their own money, little by little. Start by Increasing the amount and making it clear that covers special, non-essential clothes

If they make a mistake, don't bale them out. Allow them to experience the results of their actions, to learn how to do better. So the first time they blow an entire month's allowance leaving them skint and in trouble, don't rescue them. Being unable to join their friends on a night out is the best way to learn

 

Elders, not right always

I

It is always said that elders in the society give importance to values and youngsters should seek their guidance and act in the home or in society as per their advice. 

 

 

Elders should be respected and youngsters should heed to their advice.  But recent instances make me feel that this is  a myth and the fact is that juniors behave better and echo voices of justice honestly.

 

In Karnataka, Kumaraswamy was very much ready to hand over power to BJP as per the agreement arrived 20 months before. But the senior Gowda did not want to honour the agreement.  With great disgust junior has to follow the senior.  Secondly, in Kerala when Karunakaran wanted to join Congress his son did not agree to that.  It was only recently they have broken from Congress and joined NCP.  He felt that his image will go down if he joins Congress.  He tried to pursue his father but in vain.  But, he kept his fort and did not join congress.  Now comes Omar Laden son of Bin Laden who broke from his father due to the violent culture of Al Qaida.  This happened some 5 or 6 years back but now only he is showing courage to come out publicly and disagree with his father.

 

  So we should not always agree that elders follow values and morals.

 

 

 

Google