HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2008 TO YOU

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND  A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2008 TO YOU .

LET YOUR CHERISHED DREAMS AND GOALS BE ACHIEVED IN THIS YEAR WITH GRACE OF ALMIGHTY AND YOUR INTELLIGENT EFFORTS.

P K Kothari

 

·  New Year Greetings Permanent Calendar

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 02

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 01

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 03

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 04

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 06

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 05

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 08

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 07

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 09

·  FW: New Year Powerpoint Greetings 11

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 10

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 13

·  New Year Powerpoint Greetings 12

Winter Tips for Hair, Skin,Hands, Nails,Legs, Lips

Winter is just not about warm clothes, fireside reading, snuggling close to the pillows wrapped from head to toe with a comfy quilt. It is time to battle the cold winds that hampers your body and hair. A little care will keep the wintry troubles at bay.

 

 

Hair...

Before the winter winds can work havoc with your hair, expose your hair to deep conditioning. Since the cold weather causes to dry your hair, massage your hair in aloe Vera juice for a few minutes. This will restore its softness.

You can a lso treat your hair with oil massage once or twice a week Olive oil can work wonders in reinforcing moisture to your hair. Heat the oil before using and allow it to soak for a time lesser than the time you allot for the summer season. Too long a period of soaking hair in oil can get you ill. If you are used to treating your hair with herbal extracts or herbal oil do not soak it for a long time. Herbal ingredients are mostly cooling agents that are more suitable for the summer. Keep away from washing your hair too frequently.

Woolen clothing like hats, scarves and turtlenecks can cause damage to your hairline. Since they can cause breakage, first cover your hair with a silk scarf before exposing it to winter wraps.

It is the appropriate time for split ends to work their way up to the hair shafts. Hence trim your split ends.

Style your hair with a braid, twist or a knot. Try Keeping away from letting your hair open and wild, as the cold winds can play rough on your hair.

Avoid exposing your hair to frequent coloring, streaking, or ironing as they can rob your hair off its moisture and it is advisable to avoid heating appliances on your hair.

Expose your hair to natural drying. Keep away from blow dryers. If you have to use, use one with a hood.

Always cover your hair with a silk fabric to guard it from the chill winds.

Skin...
Your skin texture depends not only on external treatments, but also on the intake. A proper nutritious intake helps in rejuvenating the skin from within. Water plays an important role in keeping your skin alive. A good amount of water helps in retaining the moisture of your skin as well keeping skin disorders at bay. Fruits and vegetables in your daily diet release a lot of water to your system. Primrose syrup and olive oil in your diet also aids in softening your skin.

Use th e paste of ground green gram powder instead of soap to work your way to a soft and supple skin.

Pamper you skin with a little coconut oil before bath to heal dryness and chaps. Use a creamy soap that renders that extra suppleness to your skin.

Moisturizers and cold creams are a must in the winters. Apply some good cold cream on your face before going to bed. Moisten your skin with a good moisturizer or a creamy hand and body lotion. My best buy is ' Jergens' hand and body lotion.

Add a few drops of oil to the water that you are using to bath. This will help retain the moisture lost when bathing. Avoid using very hot water during winter as it can decrease the natural oils of your skin. Instead shorten your bath time.

Hands, legs and nails...
When treating your legs add a few drops of oil in the water that you use to soak them. With regards to hands, try using rubber gloves while immersing them in water. Use a base coat over your nails against the cold weather.

Lips...
A good petroleum jelly will be an effective cover over your lips against the cold weather. Butter is effective in curing chapped lips and renders an extra softness.

So get ready to shield your body against the winter threats.

Nutrition tips for kids

Many more children  are being diagnosed with high cholesterol, or as overweight or obese. These conditions can cause many health problems for your child such as diabetes and high blood pressure, both now and as he or she moves into adulthood.

By helping your child eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly, you can reduce his or her risk of experiencing these health problems.

 

How can  help a child eat right?

  ;If you prepare healthy foods for your family and eat healthy foods yourself, your child will eat healthier, too.

Make sure to prepare a variety of foods, so your family gets all the vitamins and minerals their bodies need to function properly.

What are some examples of healthy meals?

 

Breakfast: The first meal of the day is a good time to give your child foods that are high in fiber. Whole-grain breads, cereals, fruit, low-fat or nonfat cheeses and yogurt are also good breakfast foods. Use skim or low-fat milk rather than whole or 2% milk. Fruit juice is usually high in calories and has less nutrients than whole fruit (fresh or canned).

Lunch: Use whole-grain breads and ro lls to make a healthier sandwich. Whole grains increase the total fiber in your child's diet and are less processed than enriched white bread. Give your child whole-grain crackers with soups, chili and stew, and always serve fresh fruit (with the skin) with meals instead of chips or other high-calorie options.

 

Here are some ways to make healthier sandwiches:

• Use low-fat or fat-free lunch meats. They are good in sandwiches or cut into strips on top of a salad.
• Buy leaner meats, suc h as turkey, chicken or veggie dogs.
• Put leftover chicken or turkey strips in a tortilla to make a cold fajita (add strips of raw red and green peppers and onions). Use fat-free sour cream as a dressing.
• Stuff a pita-bread "pocket" with vegetables, fat-free cheese and bits of leftover grilled chicken.
• Cut up vegetables such as onion, carrot, celery and green peppers to add to tuna salad. Mix vegetables and water-packed tuna with fat-free mayonnaise or, for a different taste, mix with a fat-free salad dressing.
• Chunky bits of leftover chicken mixed with fat-free mayonnaise, raisins, shredded carrots and sliced almonds is a great chicken salad. Serve it in a pita-bread pocket. Top it with salsa for a Southwestern flavor.
• Mix cranberry sauce and fat-free mayonnaise to add to a turkey sandwich.
• When buying peanut butter, choose an "all-natural" option. For jelly, buy one that 100% fruit and does not contain high fructose corn syrup. This will make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches much healthier.
• Sliced ham and low-fat or fat-free cheese with mustard is great on rye bread.
• Low-fat cheese makes a good sandwich with tomato slices and mustard or fat-free mayonnaise on a whole-grain roll.
• Slice leftover pork tenderloin and top with barbecue sauce for a hot or cold sandwich.
• Make grilled-cheese sandwiches with low-fat or fat-free cheese and serve them with raw carrot and celery sticks.

What snacks are good for child?

Fruits, vegetables, whole grains and low- or nonfat dair also make great snacks for children. Here are some ideas for ways to serve these foods to your kids:

 

Fruits:

• Bits of fruit stirred into nonfat yogurt
• Strawberries
• Raisins
• Grapes
• Pineapple chunks
• Orange or grapefruit sections
• Bananas cooked lightly in apple juice
• Apple slices with all natural peanut butter
• Dried fruit mixes

 

Vegetables:

• Carrot sticks
• Celery sticks with all natural peanut butter
• Raw broccoli and cauliflower florets with a low-fat dip or salsa

 

Protein:

• 1% fat or fat-free cottage cheese or ricotta cheese
• Water-packed tuna mixed with fat-free mayonnaise on top of celery sticks or whole-grain crackers
• Fat-free yogurt topped with sunflower seeds, chopped dried fruit or a spoonful of oat bran

 

Whole grains:

• Cereals or cereal bars that are low in sugar and fat, and high in fiber and protein
• Whole-grain crackers, breads or bagels

 

Sweets and desserts:

• Fat-free frozen yogurt
• Juice bars
• Sherbet and sorbet

Freedom and respect of individuality

"In order for our children to survive in the world, they need a firm understanding and belief in the basic principles of sharing freedom and respect of individuality."
 
There is a saying: Tell me, I'll forget; Show me, I'll remember; Engage me; I'll understand. The adults need to determine what the younger generation is learning. The principle of sharing keeps the youth from being greedy and selfish. The principle of freedom teaches the youth about choices, decisions and consequences.
 
The principle of respect keeps us from playing God and becoming a controller of all things. We need to learn these lessons so we may demonstrate them for our children.

FW: //Dil Se Desi// BIRTH OF A 2nd CHILD....Helping Your 1st CHILD ADJUST

 

The happiness and love that your first baby brought into your life is beyond measure, and now you're thrilled to learn you are expecting another child. Although you've been through pregnancy and childbirth before, you now have added responsibilities and considerations in order to prepare for your second child.

 

Fortunately, preparing for a second child can be as rewarding and special as the first time. Helping your older child understand what to expect can lessen anxiety for both of you, and being aware of the changes involved in having a second child is the best way to prepare for this joyous event.

What Will Change?

Bringing about a second child and handling two children can be a bit overwhelming at first . Getting organized before the baby is born is your best bet, even though that might be a bit more challenging than it was the first time around.

 

Because your time will be restricted, you'll be busier - your once organized schedule may be stretched to the limit. Sleeping and meal schedules will fluctuate and will depend on the age of your older child.

 

You may also tire more easily, even before the baby is born, since caring for your older child while pregnant takes a lot of energy. After the birth, the first 6 to 8 weeks can be particularly demanding, because your main job will be trying to get your infant on a feeding and sleeping schedule, while anticipating your older child's needs and changing emotions.

 

One positive change that a second child brings is an increased confidence in your own abilities, knowledge, and experience. That is, the things that seemed so difficult with your first child - breast-feeding, changing diapers, handling illness - will seem like second nature to you instead of a full-blown crisis

How Will It Affect You?

Bringing home a new baby will affect you in many ways - some physically and others emotionally. Increased exhaustion and mild anxiety is a normal occurrence after having a child.

 

The " baby blues" can be a frightening experience, but you don't have to endure feelings of depression by yourself. Talk to your doctor about your symptoms. It's important to differentiate between a simple case of the "baby blues," which usually passes within a few weeks, and postpartum depression, a serious disorder that can lead to mood and sleep problems if untreated. If you begin to feel very depressed or anxious, or have thoughts about harming yourself or your baby, seek the help of your doctor immediately.

 

Physically, you are likely to be sore and very tired, particularly if you had a difficult birth or cesarean delivery. This makes all-night feeding sessions especially tough for you, if you have decided to breast-feed your child.

 

Seeking the help of a postpartum "doula" during the day can allow you to catch up on sorely needed rest and sleep. A postpartum doula is a specially trained woman who cares for mother and baby during the first couple of weeks after delivery.

 

If you work outside the home, you may be unsure about the future of your career. Making a decision about whether to return to your job is an important one; enlist the support of your family and friends when weighing all of your options.

 

Don't be surprised if you feel concerned about bonding with your new child. It may be difficult to understand that you will have just as much love for your new arrival as you do for your older child - but you will. As moms and dads often report, a parent's love somehow doubles when another child is born.

 

You will notice that you have little or no time for yourself during the first few months following delivery. Sleepless nights and everyday tensions can be overwhelming, so be sure to make "alone time" a priority for you. Likewise, you and your partner will notice that you're rarely spending time together, so be sure to have an occasional date once things settle down.

Helping Your First Child Adjust

Your first child may experience a range of emotions, from jealousy to excitement and even resentment. Younger toddlers are unable to verbalize their feelings, and their behaviors may regress after the new child is born. They might suck their thumb, drink from a bottle, forget their recent potty training skills, and communicate using baby talk in an effort to get your attention.

 

Older toddlers and children might express their feelings by testing your patience, misbehaving, throwing tantrums, or refusing to eat. These problems are usually transient, and a little preparation can go a long way in helping your older child adjust to the idea of welcoming a new sibling. A good idea is to play up the role of older sibling. There are a number of things that can help you achieve this, such as:

• Letting your older child help pick out items for the new baby's room. If your children will be sharing a bedroom, this is particularly important.  

• Finding a special gift that your older child might like to share with the baby, such as a favorite book or toy, or a photo of the sibling for the baby's room. You might also want to pick out something for your older child too, such as a special chair just for him or her that he or she can sit in while you're feeding the baby.  

• Arranging special time just for you and your older child. This might involve a trip to the library, grocery store, or simply reading a few extra stories at bedtime. Your partner can help you by caring for the baby during these times.  

• Role-playing or reading stories to your child that will help him or her understand what is happening in the family. There are several books written especially for toddlers that can help. Check a local bookstore or ask your librarian for specific titles.  

• Preparing your child for what to expect when the baby comes home. This includes explaining that a new baby cries, sleeps, and needs diaper changes frequently. Assure your older child that although the new baby needs lots of attention, there will still be plenty of time and love for him or her.  

• Reinforcing your older child's role in the family. Tell your child that he or she will be the "big brother/sister" to the new baby, and let your child revel in this new role. Consider taking your child on one of your prenatal visits or letting him or her be present for an ultrasound. If you're giving birth in a hospital setting, ask about sibling visitation after the baby is born.

The arrival of a new child represents a big shift in your older child's life, so you might want to hold off on introducing other major changes. This is probably not the best time to start toilet teaching, to begin the transition from bottle to cup, or to enroll your child in a program where he or she will be separated from you for the first time. Consistency will go a long way in making your child's adjustment easier.

 

Siblings play a very special role in your new baby's life, so don't leave your first child out of the decision-making. So much attention (baby showers, new furniture, clothes, toys) is lavished on the new baby, making it easy for the older child to feel overlooked. Reassure your child that he or she is as special as the new addition by letting him or her participate in the flurry of activity.

Tips to Help You Cope

There are a number of tips that can help you cope with the added responsibilities of having a second child. Some of them are things you can do before the baby is born.

• Stock the house with dry foods or quick, easy dinners. If you feel up to cooking, make double portions and freeze them, because finding energy at the end of the day will be difficult once the baby is born. Keep a few menus of take-out food restaurants readily available, including a few that deliver.  

• Reorganize your laundry room, using one hamper per family member or a basket for each child so it's easier to sort and fold clothing. Laundry is usually the biggest complaint of a new mom - it seems to quadruple when another child arrives, so now is the time to prepare.  

• If possible, make use of the items you already have on hand (or that family members are willing to share with you) rather than feeling as if you have to go out and buy all new things. Hand-me-downs such as cribs, bassinets, strollers, high chairs, and clothes can help save time and money.  

• Treat yourself to a few movies, and don't watch them until the baby is born. It will help get you through those late-night feedings.  

• Stock the car with a diaper bag filled with all the necessary extras so you'll always be prepared. Many mothers keep a toy bag in the car for the older child and a diaper bag with diapers, wipes, and an extra blanket for the baby.

• Keep a book or toy bin handy in your bedroom, family room, and even the bathroom or laundry room, to keep your children busy for a few precious moments if an unexpected problem crops up.  

• Ask a family member to spend time with you right after the baby's birth, if you feel comfortable doing so. Not only will he or she enjoy it, but you may be able to get some much-needed rest.  

• Use babysitting services or a housekeeper, if possible, who can come in once a week for a month or two to help you with chores that are too strenuous and exhausting.  

• Look to your community or place of worship for support. There are countless programs and classes available that provide activities and social support for families with young children.  

• Don't forget to take care of your own needs. Pamper yourself, even if it's something as simple as a haircut or a bath with candles and music, to help you relax after a trying day.

Once you and your family members get accustomed to the idea of another child, you can enjoy the many positive aspects of a larger family.

 

 

Warning: The reader of this article should exercise all precautionary measures while following instructions on the home remedies from this article. Avoid using any of these products if you are allergic to it. The responsibility lies with the reader and not with the site or the writer.

Music makes children brainier and agile

Not only does it soothe the savage beast, but music also makes unruly children calmer while at the same time honing their cognitive skills and physical coordination, according to a leading expert.

A mother's soft lullaby, granddad's whistling or granny's humming in the kitchen or the dulcet tones of father singing in the shower – all of these seemingly innocuous musical activities serve to help an infant not only in acquiring linguistic skills but also in learning how human beings interact on a social level.

"Experiments have shown that unborn babies in the womb appear to relax in response to certain music and also that they seem to recognize this music after birth," says Professor Michael Schulte-Markwort, head of child psychology at Hamburg's University Hospital in Germany.

"From the outset, music helps the language centres in the brain to develop so that children who have been exposed to music at an early age tend to learn to speak earlier than those who are born into non-musical homes," he says.

"Music also helps in the development of motor skills while at the same time reducing tension," says Dr Schulte-Markwort.

Rhythm and dancing also skills young muscles in coordination so that children good in music and dance are healthier and better coordinated than children whose parents never teach them to sing and dance and play a simple drum or other instrument.

"As soon as they learn to walk, they also begin to move rhythmically in time to musical stimuli and thus automatically begin to dance. Good and attentive parents naturally encourage their offspring to sing and dance rhythmically," he adds.

"That is why pre-schoolers should engage in games involving rhythmic movement and dancing, games that encourage children to clap in time with the beat or to beat out the rhythm on simple percussion instruments such as bells and chimes and little drums," says Schulte-Markwort.

Age five or six is ideal for teaching children to play a musical instrument because their minds are most receptive to learning the skills involved.

"We're not talking about the violin or bassoon, which involve very fine motor skills, and we are also not talking about tedious piano lessons which bore young minds. But instead we are talking about simple flutes and other instruments which produce a melodic sound easily and enjoyably," he says.

"It is important to remember the fun factor. Singing, dancing and playing musical instruments must first and foremost be fun for children," he added.

How to get your NEW BORN baby to SLEEP through the NIGHT

Almost two years ago, when my second son was born my wife and I had an extremely difficult time getting him to sleep through the night.

 

My wife would go to bed and I would keep him in one of those infant car seats where he would sleep for a half an hour and then start to cry. I would rock him, swing him, and do almost everything to get him to fall back asleep only to have him wake up again an hour later.

 

This would go on almost every night since he was about two weeks old. By the time my son was about seven weeks old, I was going out of my mind. I went on to Amazon.com to look for some sort of book on stress relief and relaxation to help me calm myself. The strange thing is that when I did a search for these books I found Dr. Harvey Karp’s book “The Happiest Baby on the Block”.

 

The reviews on Amazon convinced me right away that this book was for me. That same day I ran to the local bookstore and bought it. When I got home, I started reading and reading for at least an hour ignoring everyone. I was so eager to learn what I could to start applying the techniques. After reading enough from the book, I took my son, swaddled him, put him in a baby swing, and turned the stereo on to play just static (white noise). He slept for three hours straight in that swing! I was ecstatic.

 

Dr. Karp mentions in his book that babies are comforted when their surroundings are similar to what they’ve experienced when they were in their mother’s womb. In order to recreate that experience for your newborn you need to apply what Dr. Karp refers to as the “Five S’s”. The five S’s help your newborn baby feel at home so to speak. Without going into too much detail but enough so that you can understand, I will try to explain the five Ss and the reason for them. If you want more information then I suggest purchasing the book. Dr. Karp goes into great detail explaining why the five Ss work and other health issues regarding your baby i.e. Shaken Baby Syndrome, SIDS. In addition, he discusses that many cases of colic can be cured by following the five S’s.

So let me first give you a breakdown of the five S’s and then I will explain how we applied them to get our son to sleep through the night when he was just seven weeks old.

 

The Five S’s

• Swaddling
• Side
• Shh!
• Swing
• Suck

Swaddling
The first step in the process of calming a baby involves wrapping them up nice and tight. Swaddling your baby correctly, helps mimic the tight surroundings of the uterus. The problem with this step is that many parents cant seem to get it right. Dr Karp provides an illustration on how to swaddle a baby properly; however, most parents don’t have large enough blankets that would allow the process to be done correctly. In addition, many parents don’t swaddle their baby tight enough. I know I had a hard time with it and I had to keep doing it repeatedly. For swaddling to work right, it has to be tight. The tighter the better.

 

Furthermore, I have heard from friends that they have tried swaddling but their baby hated it because he/she liked having his/her arms free. Dr Karp mentions that newborn babies really don’t even know that they have arms. Since their arms are a distraction, it’s important to swaddle your baby. The bottom line is that every baby likes to be swaddled. While it’s true that a baby might start crying when she’s first being swaddled, they usually calm down after a minute or two.

 

Side
Placing a baby on her stomach or side can help keep them content. According to Dr. Karp, babies have what’s called the Moro reflex. When a baby is lying on her back she may feel like she’s falling. This feeling can trigger the Moro reflex and the baby will start thrashing and crying. You can prevent this reflex from being triggered by placing your baby on her side. However, to prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Dr. Karp advises parents not to place a baby to sleep on his side or stomach.

 

Shh!
The heading for this technique should really be ‘Noise’. According to Dr. Karp, the noise level inside a mother’s womb due to blood rushing through the arteries was equivalent to that of a vacuum cleaner or hair dryer. Therefore, anything that produces this level of noise will make them feel at home and help keep them calm.

 

One great way to quiet a crying baby is to go “shhh” loudly really close to their ears. The shushing has to be louder than the baby’s crying in order to work. When we would travel, we would place a small handheld weather radio tuned to static on our baby’s car seat. This really helped in keeping him calm. At home, we would place the radio on the tray of the baby’s swing.

 

Swing
According to Dr. Karp, babies in their mother’s womb have become so accustomed to movement that it becomes difficult for them to adjust to the stillness of a bassinet after they are born. Babies love movement. They love being rocked and jiggled. Dr. Karp provides several different jingling techniques in his book that could help to calm a crying baby instantly. A baby swing is a great tool and when used with the other techniques it will help keep your baby happy for hours.

Suck
Babies are born with a desire to suck. If you take your pinky and stick it in their mouth, they will suck on it for hours. In fact, that’s what it took at times to calm our son down. There’s a reason why they call it a pacifier. Sucking on a pacifier helps to soothe a crying baby. They like it and they need it. Of course there are pros and cons to having your baby suck on a pacifier. If you are absolutely against your child having a pacifier then it may be a bit more difficult to calm your baby or to get her to sleep. If your concern is about getting your child off the pacifier then check back here in a couple of weeks I am planning to write a post on that very topic. [Update: The post is up and you can read about how to get your child off the pacifier here]

 

What We Did
To get our seven week old to sleep through the night we applied three of the five ‘S’ techniques.

Suck
Our son refused to suck on anything except for a pinky. We literally tried every single pacifier on the market until we found one that stayed in his mouth. I had to find one that resembled a pinky the most. Once we find the right one we knew we were on the right path to keeping him calm.

 

Side
Although Dr. Karp recommends that parents not put their babies to sleep on their sides, we did it anyway. The main reason for not putting babies on their side is that they can roll over onto their stomachs and be at risk for SIDS. To prevent that from happening we put rolled towels on each side of our son. The towels were wedged between our son and the wall of the bassinet thus preventing him from rolling over. If you can get your newborn to sleep with out putting her on her side or stomach then that would probably be a better option.

 

The main reason for the ‘side’ technique is to calm a crying baby. Dr. Karp mentions that once the baby is calm you should be able to put him to sleep on his back (of course he will need to be swaddled well and sucking on a pacifier).

Swaddle
Swaddling was the most challenging component for us. The problem with swaddling is that even if you do it right it doesn’t take much for it to come apart. Every time we moved our son, we had to re-swaddle him. We also couldn’t find a blanket that was large and thin enough to swaddle the way Dr. Karp illustrates in his book. We tried all sorts of things. I went to baby stores to try to find something that would work right.

 

We bought the “SwaddleMe” blanket but it was terrible. The fabric was way to stretchy and thin, the Velcro didn’t stick well enough, and the swaddling wasn’t nearly as tight as it was supposed to be. After doing some research online, I found a product that had excellent reviews on Amazon. It’s called “Miracle Blanket” and it’s probably the best modern day invention for parents with healthy newborns. I can’t praise this product enough. The material was of great quality, the swaddling was tight, and the baby could stay wrapped up the whole day just with one swaddling episode. Instead of me trying to explain why and how this blanket works so well, just check out the product website. There’s a video right on the home page showing a baby being swaddled.

My only issue with the product was its price. I couldn’t find it anywhere local and it cost close to $40 once you add shipping and tax when ordering it from their online store. However, you could find it for less than half that on eBay. So in the end, we bought a used one that was in great condition from an eBay auction for $20 including shipping.

 

So that’s what we did. We got our son a pacifier that stayed in his mouth. We swaddled him up nice and tight with the Miracle Blanket. And we placed him to sleep on his side.

This lasted until he was about four or five months old. Once your baby grows to a certain size swaddling becomes difficult and less effective since the baby is really no longer a newborn and is now more accustomed to life in the real world.

 

If Your Children Don't Trust You Then They Wont Respect You

Trust is one of the pillars of good parenting. This post is slightly different than the other posts on becoming a better parent. In the other posts, I have written about how love and respect are essential to proper parenting. No one will tell you that love and respect are not important. However, if your kids don’t trust you then they wont respect you.

This is not just something we should be concerned about when our kids are older. Trust starts when your kids are just that – kids. Its much easier to be a little misleading or dishonest when our kids are little. However, don’t make it a habit. A little white lie now can quickly grow into a full blown lie without you realizing and before you know it you’ll quickly lose your children’s trust.

An example of ways to damage your trust
The magazine article in Parenting.com on advising ways to take away recalled toys from your toddler by making it disappear in the middle of the night is a perfect example in building mistrust in your relationship with your kids.

“Make the toy “disappear” while your child is sleeping. If he is distressed about losing his favorite object, you may have to tell a white lie and feign ignorance about the toy’s whereabouts.”

Another example, my daughter once cut herself; she refused to wear a bandaid. A guest over at our house suggested to sneak one on her while she was sleeping. After telling this person that I was against that idea, she turned to me and said that sometimes a parent has to do things that a child doesn’t want them to do. I was annoyed because we were talking about a cut that was slightly larger than a paper cut. I was more concerned about affecting the trust with my daughter than giving her a bandaid.

I learned from being a EMT and a First Aid and CPR instructor that you never tell a patient that they will be ok when you know that they wont be. Never lie to a patient. If they learn not to trust you then they will learn not to trust any paramedic or doctor.

This applies to parenting as much as anything else. A parent should never tell their child that “it wont hurt” or “it will be ok” or worse when going to the doctor a parent should never ever tell their child that they are just going for a checkup when they are really going in for a shot.

The absolute worst way of destroying trust with your children is telling them that you will or wont do something knowing perfectly well that you will do the opposite of what you just told them. A perfect example is when a mother tells her son that she wont touch anything in his room while he’s away for the weekend and once he leaves she starts reorganizing his room and throwing away things that she feels is garbage. This may sound extreme but parents do this all the time. They say one thing to their children but do the exact opposite.

Trust begins when your child is old enough to understand. If your child learns that they simply can not trust you then they will almost have no reason to respect you either.

 

How To Get Your Baby Or Toddler Off The Pacifier

I’m sure there will be quite a few parents reading this post who will react with “What?! We don’t want our child off the pacifier! How will we survive?”

The truth is the longer you wait to take away the pacifier the harder it becomes. Its quite a tricky process taking away a pacifier. Either the baby will be too young and not understand and in that case taking the pacifier away is a bad idea or maybe the child would be too old and will have already become too attached to his pacy that taking it away would be impossible.

Some recommend taking the pacifier away when your baby is around six months old. At that age your baby no longer needs to suck and has yet to become attached to it.
My wife wanted me to take the pacifier away from our son before he was six months old but I wanted to wait until he was older. With our daughter, we took the pacifier away from her when she was around two years old.

Well I am happy to say that our two year old is officially off his pacifier. The process this time around was a bit easier than it was with our daughter.

Taking it away
My sister in-law is a pediatric dentist and she told us that the toddler will overcome the need for the pacifier in just three days. While the process is done cold turkey, it does help to restrict pacifier use to nap and bed time only. Except for when they were newborns, our kids were never allowed to have the pacifier any other time during the day.

Baby
Taking a pacifier away from a baby really doesn’t require more than just taking it away. It shouldn’t take more than three days for the baby to get used to sleeping without one. However, there are some key points to be aware of:

1. Do not take the pacifier away from the baby the same week you are trying to wean your baby off nighttime feedings or doing something else. Stick to one thing at a time.
2. Make sure that there is nothing major in your life going on that week. If you are going on a trip then wait until you come back and have everyone back on schedule. Also, if it’s a week that you are planning on having family visit then do it another week.
3. You, as a parent, must be absolutely committed to taking it away. If you arent ready to do it then the baby wont be ready either. You’ll end up giving in at the first sign of your baby’s distress.
4. Mom and Dad should do it together as a team for the above reason.
5. Weekends are a great time to do it. You could start on a Friday evening and have him off by Monday.

Toddler
While this process is also done cold turkey, it helps to involve the toddler. The best time to take a pacifier away from a toddler is when it needs to be thrown out because it’s all chewed up. It can’t be used anymore for safety reasons and this is a great opportunity to get your toddler involved. You could show your toddler that the pacifier is broken and explain to her that it needs to go to the garbage. You should try to get your toddler to be the one to throw it out.

With our son, we were going to wait until he was about two and a half before taking it away but one night a month before he turned two I noticed that the pacifier was just to damaged to be safe for him to use. I showed him that his ‘pacy’ was broken and it needed to be thrown out. Then I gave it to him and told him to throw it out. He was very reluctant at first but after I kept telling him that it was broken and it wasn’t safe anymore he put it in the garbage. That night when he went to sleep he looked at us and said “pacy broken” and then put his head down and went to sleep. The next morning he woke up and again said “pacy broken.” I responded “Yeah, pacy broken. No more pacy” and that was it.

Our daughter, on the other hand, was crying and crying for her pacifier after we took it away. She even went to take it out of the garbage the next morning but thankfully, we had already moved it somewhere else. Finally, after three days she quieted down and went to bed without any issues.

Some things to be aware of when taking your toddlers pacifier away:

1. As with a baby, you will need to be fully committed. If you aren’t your toddler will know it and the process will take much longer than three days.
2. When you do take it away make sure that your toddler can’t take it back. You want it to disappear.
3. Be strong. Taking a pacifier away can be an emotional process. Although you’ll feel terrible, keep in mind that your helping your toddler not hurting him.

Good luck!

 

Parental advisory

Accept it or not, regular tussles at home with your spouse do affect the psyche of your child. Here's how to avoid those petty conflicts

Quarelling in front of your kids is nothing short of abuse. While fighting and making up is all part of marriage, parents often forget their children's presence while being in the battle. They are so intent on shouting down their spouses, making their respective points and saying hurtful things that they overlook the fact that the fight does not affect just the two of them but also their children.

FIGHTS CAN LEAD TO…
Parental fights can create a lot of negativity in children. Children tend to become:
• Clingy and insecure
• Develop low self-esteem
• Lost and feel a lack of belongingness
• Guilty and shameful
• Impulsive
• Helpless
• Exhibit aggressive behaviour
• Yell at their own kids later
• Feel fearful and unsure of the future
• Embarrassed to bring friends over.

Drawing the battle lines
Before you start screaming at your husband about having lost a tidy pile on the stock market or arguing with your wife about how she doesn't show enough respect to your parents, stop and think that your children are likely to be the spellbound audience to your little family drama. And it will be disturbing rather than entertaining for them.
However, this does not mean that parents do not have the right to fight or argue just because they are parents. It is just that they will have to learn to express their anger and communicate their frustration in private and in ways that do not affect their children adversely. 

The parent's manual to a 'good' fight
Disagreements are going to occur in a marriage. But the way you solve it will hold your relationship with your children in good stead. Here is a guide on what you must do to avoid petty fights and resolve conflicts:

• Put yourself in your children's shoes. Would you like to be a spectator to your fights?

• Turn around and walk away if you think you'll have a hard time dealing with your urge to fight. Recognise that when you don't walk away, you are attacking your kids, putting your need to explode ahead of their well-being and peace of mind

• After you walk away, write down everything you're thinking and feeling, so you can deal with it later and discuss — when the kids aren't around

• Counting to ten is a tried and tested method of dealing with anger. Try not to argue when you're seeing red. Take time to cool off before discussing your problems

• When it comes to fighting between partners, it doesn't work to fight fire with fire. Name-calling and door-slamming will only aggravate the fight

• Decide on a visual cue with your spouse — holding up a card, for instance — to signal that a fight is starting and it's time to nip it in the bud

• Try to analyse what the real issue is. Try not to focus on laying blame and trying to make your spouse grovel and see the error of his or her ways

• If you have issues to resolve with your spouse try to wait till your children are asleep or go into another room to have your argument. If you've had a massive argument in front of your children, make it a point to let them know that they are not to blame and that sometimes parents do fight, but it does not mean that they love each other or their children any less

• Explain to them that losing your temper was a mistake and that you may have said many things you didn't mean just because you were angry

• If you're going to have a discussion, take it somewhere private and conduct it hand-in-hand with your mate. Deal with your partner closely and personally  

• Express your needs to your partner. Be articulate and state what you need plainly and specifically

• Work out the problem. Cooperation, not competition, is the idea here, so take some time to calm down before finding a solution to the issue

Dear Dad,

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy.

 

 

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-


Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

 

 

I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together.

 

 

Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it? ), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?


Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.


Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!


Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.


Your loving daughter,
Rosie.



At the bottom of the page were the letters " PTO".

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:


PS:

Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.


I love you!

Your loving daughter,
Rosie

Adopting a Child

The coding of the Hindu Law of Adoption was based on religious and secular factors. It was common to adopt a male child as it was necessary among the Hindus to provide an heir, mainly for the sake of performing religious rites and the ceremonies for the dead parent. It was also for the continuation of a lineage. According to the sastras, only a male could perform these rites.

It is interesting to note here that in Tamil Nadu the custom of adopting a female child was prevalent in the Devadasi Community. Under the present Act, any adult woman, unmarried, widowed or divorced is given the right to adopt a child. A married man cannot adopt without the consent of his wife, while a minor does not have the right to adopt. A boy or a girl who has passed the age of fifteen cannot be adopted.

A boy or girl who is married cannot be adopted. There is no restriction in adoption on caste basis. There should be an age difference of twenty one years between the adopter and the adopted if they are of different sexes. 'Dattahavan' which was a religious ceremony for adoption is no longer compulsory. If a person has a son of his own, he cannot adopt a boy. Similarly, if a person has a daughter of his own, he cannot adopt a girl child. The same child cannot be adopted simultaneously by two or more persons.

Effect of Adoption :

The child is deemed to be the son or daughter of the adopted parent.

His relation to his biological parent is severed.

Any property which belongs to the adopted child, before his adoption, will continue to be his.

Inspite of severance of status from the family of his birth, he still cannot marry any person belonging to that family.

Adoption Agencies in Andhra Pradesh

Andhra Pradesh

Guild of service (Seva Samajam)
Balika Nilayam,
Vijaya Nagar Colony,
Hyderabad – 500 457

Indian Council for Social Welfare
Inside Cancer Hospital Compound,
Red Hills,
Hyderabad – 560 004

Missions to the Nations
D No: 3-19-6, Plot No 18,Kannyyakapunagar,
Kakinada – 533 003

St Theresa’s Tender Loving Care Home,
(St Theresa’s Hospital Society),Sanath Nagar,
Hyderabad – 560 018

John Abraham Memorial,
Bethany Home,
Tandur,
Post Box No: 3,Ranga Reddy District

Adoption Agencies in Delhi

Delhi Council for Child Welfare
Qudisia Garden,
Yamuna Marg,
Civil Lines,
Delhi –110 054

Church of North India Shishu Sangapan Graha
St Michael’s Compound,
Hospital Road,
Jangpura,
New Delhi– 110 014

Welfare Home for Children
68, Raja Garden,
New Delhi

Sewa Bharati (Matri Chhaya)
100196/A, Sewa Kunj,
Jhandewalan,
New Delhi – 110 056

SOS Children’s Villages of India
A-7, Nizamuddin (West),
New Delhi – 110 013

Holy Cross Social Services
No: 34, Dr Mukherjee Nagar West,
Delhi – 110 009

Missionaries of Charity
Nirmala Shishu Bhawan,
12, Commisioner Lane,
Delhi – 110 054

Children of the World (Delhi) Society
A.5/5, Vasant Vihar,
New Delhi – 110 057

Adoption Agencies in North India

Adoption Agencies in Gujarat and Haryana

GujaratKathiawar Nirashrit-Balashram,Malviya Road,Rajkot –360 002
Mahipatram Rupram Ashtram-Outside Raipur Gate,Ahmedabad – 380 022,br>Kasthuriba Stri Vikas Griha-Kasturiba Gandhi Marg,Jamnagar –361 008

Haryana

Haryana State Council for Child Welfare-Bal Vikas Bhavan,65-D, Sector 16/D,Chandigarh – 160 016

Adoption Agencies in Karnataka and Goa

Adoption Agencies in Karnataka

KarnatakaShishu Mandir-17/11, Cambridge Road,Ulsoor,Bangalore –560 008
Ashraya-Jawan’s Quarters, BDA Park, Double Road,Indira Nagar Stage-I,Bangalore – 560 038
Society of Sisters of Charity-Holy Angels Convent,C/o Stella Maris Convent,Malleswaram,Bangalore – 560 003
Society of the Sisters of St Joseph’s of Tarbes-Promenade Road, Fraser Town,Bangalore – 560 005
Canara Bank Relief and Welfare Society -27th Cross, Banashankari II Stage,Bangalore – 560 070
Surabala Nilaya Sangh -®738, 13th cross, 7th Block,Jayanagar West,Bangalore – 560 082
Society of Sisters of Charity-St George Convent,C/o Sisters of Charity,Bolvedere, Angelore,Mangalore – 575 002
Vathsalya Charitable Trust-No: 2, C/708, ‘Sally Villa’,II Cross Street, I Block,HR BR Layout,Opposite Cosmopolitan Club,Bangalore
St Michael’s Home-St Michael’s Convent,No: 30, 100 feet Road,Indira Nagar,Bangalore – 560 038
Reach Out-22, Chinnaswamy Road,Tasker Town, Bangalore – 560 051
Child FoundationKarnataka, 8.O Shauganessy Road,Langford Garden,Bangalore – 560 025

Adoption Agencies in Goa

Goa
Society for Child Development House No: 630, Caranzalom,Goa – 400 002
Cartias GoaPaco Patriarchal,Altino, Panji,Goa – 403 001

Adoption Agencies in Kerala

Kerala Holy Infant Mary’s Girls Home
Vayithri,
South Waynard District,
St Joseph’s Children’s Home
Maunnoor,
Cherpunkak,
PO 686 584,
Kottayam District,

Dinasevanasabha
Snehanikatan,
Special Centre,
Pattuvann, Cannanore District

Bethal Foundation
Bethal Girls Town/Boys Town,XLVII/631,
Ashoka Road,
Kaloor,
Cochin – 17

Kerala State Council for Child Welfare
Thycaud,
Trivandrum – 695 014

Foundling Home
(Shishu Bhawan),Padupuram Post,Via Karukutty,
Ernakulam District

International Child Welfare Service
(Karin Child Care Centre),
Vellore Post,
Paampady,
Kottayam

Shishu Ksema BhawanSt Judes Charitable Trust,
Kanjirapally,
Kottayam

Adoption Agencies in Maharashtra

Bal Anand World Children Welfare Trust (India)Sai Krupa,93, Ghatia Village,Chembur,Mumbai – 400 071
Missionaries of CharityChurch Road,Vila Parle (West),Mumbai
Children of the World (India) Trust501, Arun Chambers,Tardoo, Mumbai – 400 034
Shri Sharadhanand Ananthalaya SocietyShradhanand Peth,Nagpur – 440 001
Holy Cross Home for BabiesC/o Holy cross Convent,Amaravati (Camp) – 444 602
Society of Friends of Sasoon HospitalsRoom No: 80,Sasoon General Hospitals,Pune – 411 001
St Catherines HomeVeera Desai Road,Andheri (West),Mumbai – 400 058
The Hindu Women’s Society Shraddhanand Mahilaashram,Shraddhanand Road,King’s Circle,Matunga,Mumbai – 400 019
Bharatiya Samaj Seva KendraNo: 5, Koregaon Road,Pune – 411 001
Shejhar ChhayaDeodal Kaman Post,Taluk Vasai, Thane District,Maharashtra – 402 202
Maharashtra State Women’s CouncilAsha Sadan,Asha Sadan Marg, UmerkhadiBal Asha TrustGrand Paradi, RH 11,August Kranti MargMumbai – 400 036
Bal Vikas11/41, Yashwant Nagar,Behind Filmstan Studio,SV Road, Goregaon (West),Mumbai – 400 062
Shree Manav Seva Sangh255-257, Sion Road,Sion (West),Mumbai – 400 22
Balwant Kaur AnandMemorial Welfare Society,Preet Mandir,Anand Corner,18, Dr Koyaji Road,Pune – 411 001
Matu Sewa SanghInstitute of Social Work,West High Court Road,Bajaj Nagar,Nagpur – 440 010
Mahila Sewa Mandal KusumbaiMotichand Mahila Sewagram,25/20, Karve Road,Pune – 411 004
Vivekanand Bal SadanSeth Doga Dharmashala, Opposite to Railway Station,Kamptee,Nagpur – 441 002
St Crispen’s HomeFP-10, CT.S-12,Karve Road,Erandawana,Pune – 411 004
St Mary’s ConventSt John’s Home for Women and Children,Panch Hiwa,Pune – 411 002
Vathsalya TrustC-32, Vijay Kunj Colony,Behind State Bank,Kanjur Marg (East),Mumbai – 400 042

Adoption Agencies in Tamilnadu and Pondicherry

Adoption Agencies in Tamilnadu


Tamil Nadu Guild of Service
32, Casa Major Road,
Egmore,
Chennai – 600 008

Karna Prayag Trust
No: 7, Rajakrishna Rao Road,
Alwarpet,
Chennai – 600 018

Institute of Fransiscan Missionaries of Mary Society
3, Holy Apostle Convent,
St Thomas Mount,
Chennai – 600 016

Missionaries of Charity
Nirmala Shishu Bhavan
79, West Madha Church Road,
Royapuram,
Chennai – 600 013

Concord House of Jesus
C-23, Anna Nagar East,
Chennai – 600 102

Malaysian Social Services
6, Sengunthar Street,
Shenoy Nagar,
Chennai – 600 030

Christ Faith Home
16, Sri Ram Nagar,
Mugalivakkam,
Chennai 600 116

Balamandir Kamaraj Trust
126, GN Chetty Road,
T Nagar,
Chennai – 600 017

Reaching the Unreached
G Kallupatt,
Periyakulam T K,
Madurai – 625 203

Grace Kennett Foundation
34, Kennett Road,
Madurai – 625 010

The Blue Mountain Social Welfare Association
Kottahall Road,
Kothagiri – 642 217

Families for Children
107, Vallalar Road,
Podnur,
Coimbatore – 641 023

Congregation of the Sisters of the Cross Chavnod (SOCSEAD),
Post Box No: 395,
Old Good Shed Road,
Teppakulam,
Trichy – 2

St Joseph’s Charity InstituteAdaikalapuram,Tuticorin DistrictAnantha Ashramam
Thenkanikottai,
HCF Post,
Mathigiri,
Hosur,
Dharmapuri District

Kasthuriba Hospital
Gandhi Gram,
Dindigul District

Chetana Vikas
Parthibanur,
Ramanathapuram.



Adoption Agencies in Pondicherry

The Immaculate Heart of Mary’s Convent Society -(Joy Home)
Colas Nagar,
Uppalam Road,
Pondicherry – 605 001

Cluny Children’s Home-(Cluny Shishu Illam),
No: 8, Romain Rolland Street,
Pondicherry – 605 001