Don't Fret. Ma!

Kids fight over presents 

You often wonder how five-six year old kids come to know that it's the season to get gifts, right? Xmas gifts become the ultimate aims for your children for the season, and easily breed jealousy and competition among siblings (and cousins for joint families). Christmas is a bigger reason than birthdays to fight over gifts, because everyone's getting one!

FRET NOT!
The under-teen kids at some point on Christmas Day always demand what their siblings get, even if it isn't on their list. So get them the same things, or a variation of them. Then they can't moan. Many might say it's ridiculous to buy the same presents but it's not if it keeps the peace.

  Son's sceptical about Santa 

It sure is fun to have 'Father Christmas' come to your house or have your kids meet him at a mall, but some smart five-year-olds keep demanding to know how can Santa be here and at their cousin's in interior India on the same night. You keep telling them it's magic, but it hardly works.

FRET NOT!
This one's probably the easiest of them all, if you use tact. Just make sure you rent some Santa Clause movie DVDs (The Santa Clause Movie starring Tim Allen) or even more convenient is letting them watch the barrage of Xmas specials on the Nickelodeons and Cartoon Networks of the idiot box. Kids believe it all – how he gets into flats, homes with no chimneys, everything. It sure will have more impact than you sitting and explaining the entire science!

  In-laws hate noisycelebration 

There are many of us for whom every Christmas ends in disaster.  Modern moms complain of their husband's parents being really 'old-fashioned' when they insist children should sit quietly at the dinner table then play quietly with their toys. Well, kids of seven and five hardly listen to that. But things go worse when your husband gets anxious that they're not behaving and you get cross with him for taking his parents' side.

FRET NOT!
Have a dialogue with your in-laws about it being a time to celebrate. ("Didn't 'you' celebrate Xmas this way?") Don't fight though, just adjust and accommodate. Christmas is all about the children and it's the one day of the year when they shouldn't be told off. And if all this isn't feasible, head for the nearby hill station! Many joint families today have found this to be an ideal solution to keep away tussles during festive times.

  The special day, on a budget 

Working moms, and especially single moms find the money to be too tight for comfort because kids would want everything that their friends will be getting. (This often include fancy gaming consoles and mobile phones.) Sometimes they get angry with you about it although they're normally good kids. How on earth can you make the season special without spending too much?

FRET NOT!
You need to be honest and tell them you're doing the best for them. This would instill a sense of respect and responsibility in them too. There's a lot of pressure on single mums. But don't put yourself in debt, it's not worth it. Try going to end-of-season sales and those Rs 49-99 shops.

  GIFT overload causes tantrums 

In our culture of increasing spending powers, your kids' presents increase in number and value each year. This often gets too much for them, and it results in them getting overexcited and ending up in tears. Poor mom is in a tight situation, she can't scold either of the kids, nor can she confiscate any of the gifts.

FRET NOT!
If you're child's the apple of everyone in your family's eye, he/she will end up getting more presents than your wardrobe will hold. A way out to avoid the mess and the over-excitement is to give them some and hide the rest. You can probably give one every day leading up to the New Year and thereafter too. Doing this eases up the excitement and then they value their gifts too.

  Inviting your son's girlfriend 

Today's kids in their adulthood want to spend more time with their 'dear ones' rather than near ones. Many try to reconcile the time by asking their partners to spend Christmas with their family! As a mother of a young son, you might be apprehensive and feel she's a bad influence on him.

FRET NOT!
Admit that your kids are bolder than what you were at their age! Say she's welcome to come round for a few hours, but you need to be careful saying she's a bad influence because you'll just push him away. Try to compromise – it's obviously important to him. And it's Christmas, so be nice.

  Missing out on time with Kids 

For many working moms of our city, Christmas means just another 'optional holiday' i.e. you end up working. You also end up missing out on or being too tired at the special family meal. The dilemma of priorities puts you in a fix during the festive time.

FRET NOT!
Your family's not having lunch on their own, right? The festive spirit will always rule over your house – if not with you then with your kids' friends and cousins. (Actually do your kids even think you're alive on Christmas when they're busy playing with their toys?)  This is more about a mother's guilt. So just remember you'll make up for it when you get in.