Talking with kids about sex

 

It is perfectly normal for parents to have a hard time talking to their kids about sex and birth control.  Properly and clearly discussing sexuality to children and teenagers is very important as this will certainly prevent unwanted and unexpected situations that can seriously affect the future of the children.

 

Even though discussing sexuality matters with youngsters is an essential task for parents, they still find it hard to open up or initiate the conversation with their children.  Some are afraid that their teens might misinterpret the sensitive things they explain to their youngsters.

 

So, if you are one those parents who do not know how to begin the conversation on sex and birth control with your young ones, read the following tips below for some helpful advice on such dilemma.

 

Determine your own attitude regarding sex and birth control

 

It is proven that teens who can talk with adults regarding issues on sex are the ones whose parents are comfortable and are open about the subject.  When kids are exposed in such environment, they are less likely to be engaged in pre-marital sex and unwanted pregnancy.

 

As such, being comfortable with sex is important for you to be able to discuss the matter with your teenagers.  If you are uncomfortable with sex and the use of birth control, try to discuss first your beliefs and feelings with your spouse, close friend, or with a physician.  This way, you will be able to feel more confident on discussing sexuality matters with your teens.

 

Begin discussing sexuality matters with your teenagers as early as possible

 

It is best to try discussing sexuality matters with your young ones as early as possible in order for you to have an easier time explaining even more serious and complicated matters with them in the future.  Begin when your child is in his or her early adolescent age.  Take advantage of situations when you can best discuss sexuality and birth control use with your kids.

 

Give accurate, age-appropriate information

Talk about sex in a way that fits the age and stage of your child. If your 8-year-old asks why boys and girls change so much physically as they grow, you can say something like, "The body has special chemicals called hormones that tell it whether to become a boy or a girl. A boy has a penis and testicles, and when he grows older his voice gets lower and he gets more hair on his body. A girl has a vulva and vagina, and when she gets older she grows breasts and her hips grow rounder."

Anticipate the next stage of development

Children can get frightened and confused by the sudden changes their bodies begin to go through as they reach puberty. To help stop any anxiety, talk with your kids not only about their current stage of development but about the next stage, too. An 8-year-old girl is old enough to learn about menstruation, just as a boy that age is ready to learn how his body will change.

Communicate your values

It's our responsibility to let our children know our values about sex. Although they may not adopt these values as they mature, at least they'll be aware of them as they struggle to figure out how they feel and want to behave.

Talk with your child of the opposite sex

Some parents feel uncomfortable talking with their child about topics like sex if the youngster is of the opposite gender. While that's certainly understandable, don't let it become an excuse to close off conversation. If you're a single mother of a son, for example, you can turn to books to help guide you or ask your doctor for some advice on how to bring up the topic with your child. You could also recruit an uncle or other close male friend or relative to discuss the subject with your child, provided there is already good, open communication between them. If there are two parents in the household, it might feel less awkward to have the dad talk with the boy and the mom with the girl. That's not a hard and fast rule, though. If you're comfortable talking with either sons or daughters, go right ahead. Just make sure that gender differences don't make subjects like sex taboo.

Relax

Don't worry about knowing all the answers to your children's questions; what you know is a lot less important than how you respond. If you can convey the message that no subject, including sex, is forbidden in your home, you'll be doing just fine.